I’m currently reading a book that details painful insecurities, diet culture, and body issues; the author calls her work a giant trigger warning. It’s mostly a memoir with some delicious nuggets that leave me nodding my head and highlighting the heck out of them.

Perhaps a few congratulatory remarks will be thrown our way, societal treats to keep us performing. But still, the ultimate answer is no, fat bodies will never be good enough, no matter the outfit, until we, collectively as a culture, unlearn our bias.
—Jes Baker, Landwhale

The more I dive into diet culture and the stories affected by it, it seems no one is immune to insecurity. “Everybody’s got their something,” I often find myself saying. While the roots behind our insecurities may differ, the degree of pain and emotions associated with them is often the same.

For me, I recall taking a dietitian class at age 8. By age 13, I was no stranger to the Atkins diet. When I reached high school, a beloved family member offered to compensate me for every pound lost.

It was painful – yes, but also confusing. When every other action communicates love, why does a simple act like this scream the loudest? It was almost 25 years later when new (to me) information forced this one instance to eventually become the tipping point that lead me here.

The past eight months have been an epic wrestling match, grappling with tough understanding, and trying to determine… “what now?”

Forgive? Forget?

I haven’t tapped out and I’m not close to calling it. For now, I’m just focusing on me.

“Self-care is not selfish. You can not serve from an empty vessel.”