Cut Scenes from a Film In Progress

When my voice of reason introduced me to a revolutionary concept called Intuitive Eating, it took me awhile to sort my feelings:

  1. Is this too good to be true?
  2. Freedom!
  3. What’s the plan?
  4. And what’s the catch?

For someone who’s followed one dieting plan or another their entire life, it felt a little scary (and sometimes still does) to realize there’s no catch… because there’s no plan to follow. If diet culture has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t be trusted around food. I am broken. Flawed. I need a plan just to exist.

. . .

Am I the only one who hears how crazy that sounds?! There’s no wonder the first chapter is aptly titled Reject the Diet Mentality.

A dear friend sent me an unsolicited text the other day:

“I’m so tired of constantly being told I’m broken. I’m not. Really that’s it. I see it most starkly when I look at my friends and think about how much I love them, how they light up my life, how awesome and smart and divine they are, and then realize they are being sold the same line of brokenness that I am. I can see they aren’t broken.”

This is where I feel my shoulders tense, my brows narrow, and heat rise off my neck. I am pissed. Comparison is killing us.

I spend an hour or so in the wee hours every morning in total silence. My husband is a news junkie so this has become a rare, coveted time where I can be still with my thoughts, reading, praying, and setting intention for the day.

Yesterday, I was reading about Moses in Exodus who was called to be a speaker to thousands. Chapter 3 finds him to be a stuttering recluse, so it makes sense that he would make excuse after excuse as to why he’s not the man for the job. Yet, when we fast forward to Acts, Moses is described as being educated in all wisdom; powerful in speech and action.

Do you see me sitting over here with one hand on the air? I CAN RELATE.

This is me (maybe you?) scrolling through social media concluding, “I can never do it like she does.” And that’s simply because we were never meant to. I think there’s a reason no two of us are alike.

I have strict social media policies; you’ll never see me post knee-jerk reactions or anything controversial. I do love posting photos from travels, links to work accomplishments, and recounting fun memories with friends: my highlight reels.

Here though, I strive to reveal more of what’s on my cutting room floor. And, when you’re ready, I encourage you to do the same.

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